Just Plain Honesty

*Note: This is actually the post for Monday, but I fell asleep before it could load. The internet sucks here...and I was tired. Please remember that the goal of this blog is to show you an honest look at my institute experience. Remember that I have ups and downs. Monday night was a down, but I still agree with everything I typed last night. *

Teach for America makes me feel a lot of things. I love being with my kids. It makes no sense to me that I'm only with them about 3 hours out of my 20 hour days. I love meeting these new people and finding that I have so much in common with them.

But I. Am. Tired. I'm exhausted. I've had ridiculously long days for almost 4 weeks.

Right now, I just feel disrespected. I get up at 4:30am and work on stuff on the bus ride to school. Every break I have at school, I'm working. I grade papers on the bus ride home. From the moment I step off the bus till the moment I lay down to go to sleep at around 1am, I'm doing TFA stuff, except for dinner, where I'm talking about TFA stuff (mostly). I'm averaging about 3.5 hours of sleep every night. So is just about everyone else.

It's starting to piss me off that I'm doing all that is possible, and my health is suffering because of it. Also, I'm doing all this summer work for free, which is fine, but the problem is sometimes I feel like I'm not being treated like a human being with needs. I need at least 6 hours a night to be healthy not 2-3. I'm giving TFA my all, and I think Institute needs some restructuring so they can meet those needs.

Here is what really bothers me: I am part of a three person CO-LAB, whereas many people are part of a four person CO-LAB. The four person CO-LAB splits the Literacy work in half, whereas I have to do it all myself while the other two work on math. Who made the decision that it was ok to make one person handle the work of two people? It just doesn't sound right to me.

ELA folks also have to plan a 25 minute word study lesson AND a 30 minute Academic Intervention lesson in addition to their 80 minute daily lesson. WHEW!

Again, I realize this is a sour puss post, but I can't help it. I NEED some sleep, and I feel like there's really no way to get it at this point.